Thursday, June 10, 2010

Just Relax

....."Once again, I accept that life is uncertain-that the goal is not to become more certain about anything but to relax more into the mystery of not knowing what will come next." - Elizabeth Lesser

Months and months have gone by since I've written a post. Why? Not really sure...I think I get in my own way. My desire to know "how" I'm going to do something gets in the way of actually doing it. Or, is it just plain fear?

I've asked friends and acquaintances for insight and feedback. They all say the same thing, "just sit down and Write. Every. Day." I know that in my head, but doing it...surrendering to it is another thing entirely. What is it, exactly, that I'm afraid will happen or not happen? Haven't labeled it.

I love the quote at the top of my post. A friend posted it on her facebook page today and I borrowed it. The idea of "relaxing into the mystery of not knowing" - what a concept. It sounds so calm and peaceful....I could go for some of that right about now. My personal "mystery of not knowing" currently encompasses my writing, being in a relationship, figuring out my freelance work, and dealing with the practical concerns of raising two children as a single parent...that's a whole lot of "not knowing."

Even with all the uncertainty I get up every morning and move forward. I look for the light and the positive. Sometimes, my stomach knots up and it's a struggle to let go and trust, but somehow I manage to do it. And that makes me proud of myself. The relaxing will come little bit by little bit....I'm not going to worry about the "how" of it all right now.

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